My partner and I seem to keep discussing and trying to figure out how to create our own family traditions. Since we both come from very different cultures and parts of the world but have a son now together, it’s been tricky to decided what to celebrate while staying respectful and authentic. I love Christmas and Santa was a big deal for me growing up. But bae doesn’t dig him- I mean the image that pops into his mind is of an old, bearded white dude who breaks into your home at night and leaves presents for your children. When he breaks it down that way, I see his point- Santa sounds super creepy. So, we do celebrate Christmas but give our kiddo presents from us and family. But I worry he won’t grow up believing in magic and I loved having that belief when I was a kid. I mean I grew up in the era of Harry Potter so even on my worst days as an adult, I sometime look at the window and hope to see that owl that forgot to mail my Hogwarts letter all these years later and to learn that I am not just a muggle after all. Anyway, my point is I think there is something to letting your child believe in something bigger and using their imagination.
Back to traditions though- it’s been really hard to figure out what to do. We both share ideas occasionally as the holiday season ramps up but since moving to the US, we tend to spend the major holidays with my family since we are at least located in the same country. But that means we tend to just celebrate US holidays. However, bae practiced Ramadan this year for the first time since I met him (yes, it’s been a hot minute to say the least) and I was really proud of him. Yet I didn’t really know that that all meant and it wasn’t easy per say to be supportive of him and also be super understanding when he wanted to lay in bed for two weekends straight because his body was adjusting to fasting. I wanted to spend quality family time outside of the house and I get that he needed to rest but we have a toddler so I was trying to exert some energy or at least have my son burn some calories outdoors.
Living in a multicultural home is complicated and layered. The territory comes with having to discuss the mundane things other couples might take for granted and share feelings, thoughts and ideas and at times, get in arguments about stuff you never thought you would. But it’s pretty cool to learn about another culture and to think critically about what really does matter to you and why. And questioning your own culture is healthy I think as there are some pretty messed up historical things Americans still celebrate that are obtuse and at this day and age, just offensive. So, what are our traditions? Well let’s just say it’s a work in progress. But one tradition I am proud to say our family has figure out is the creation of a new language- kringlish. While the term was coined by a friend of a friend, I’ve come to identify kringlish as the one our little guy speaks very quickly and proficiently that seems like a mixture of English and Krio but really is just his own. Bae and I are trying to become fluent but aren’t quite there yet. For now, our tradition has been encouraging our peanut to speak in any language, kringlish being his default, to express himself and communicate. And I have to say, I sort of love the tradition of us all laughing hysterically after we’ve been straight cussed out by a sassy toddler and not knowing at all what has actually been said – I love that our tradition as a family can be to find the humor in life and at least make each other crack up.
Photo credit: @instamattography
K Space 