Sleep deprivation

I gave birth to our son in June 2016. For the next year plus, I didn’t really sleep for a full 6+ hours without being interrupted at least once. It was brutal. All honestly, there were many days I could barely function and felt like a human zombie. The hardest part though was that my partner and I struggled to find a way to deal with it because we had different ideas on how to manage with the situation. I wanted to sleep train our kiddo and my husband wasn’t into the crying it out method. I did end up trying the cry it out method few times by spending weekend nights away house sitting but, in the end, our son would just revert back to waking up frequently again. I thought it would just take time so when it seemed like we’d hit a great routine and have a few days of solid good nights, something like teething would pop up and bring us back to square one. The more tired I got, the more drained I felt emotionally, physically and mentally. I got so desperate that I looked into hiring a sleep trainer but was put off by the high costs. I did however enroll to a sleep training website and sometimes just reading the posts help me to think of new things or at least know I am not the only person struggling with this.

To date, our son is still adjusting and learning to sleep through the night. He’s 21 months now and usually gives us at least 6+ hours straight these days. Thanks love bug. There are nights though when I wake up at 3am and cannot sleep and wonder if my sleep life as I knew it before becoming a parent is over. Most likely. But what I can say is at this point, I am starting to learn that sleep is beyond essential. I’ve also learned that compromising and working REALLY hard to get on the same page with your partner is also essential. In a family with two parents, it’s worth compromising to find what works for all. We are not perfect but were learning as we go. In dealing with something as hard and taxing as sleep deprivation, its better when you work as a team to get through it.

Here’s some suggestions I have for those of you suffering from sleep deprivation:

1. This is real struggle. I acknowledge your pain. My best advice is to find something each day that will help you take care of yourself as a parent so you can begin to find a way to keep giving even when you’re at your lowest. Take a bath, go for a run, eat that yummy chocolate bar. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby best.
2. Talk to your partner. No not in the middle of the night when you both are grumpy and strung out from lack of sleep. In the day time, when you’ve had time to think and hopefully sleep a little.
3. Look into methods for sleep training. There are many, many philosophies and this is not a one size fits all situation. Each kiddo needs something different and each family needs to find what works best for them.
4. Check out sleeping websites. I never did end up hiring someone professionally but I still read the posts at this site: https://www.babysleepsite.com
5. Ask for help. From your partner, your family, your friends, your care provider or other parents. Call someone to come over so you can take a nap on the roughest days. Take turns with your partner through the week so you guys can both rest. Ask friends what they have tried and for general advice.
6. Lastly, like all things in life, change is inevitable and hopefully this lack of sleep situation is temporary. Babies and kids are also incredibly resilient and most will adjust in the end. If your still struggling months/years later, do seek professional support and help. You need to find a solution that will work for you and your family.